suesylvester-:stephysaywhat:(via dsfincannon)
hahahah it’s very true, I can’t get mad at Twitter when there’s an error. I’m like DAWWW OKAY YOU LITTLE SCAMP.
SO TRUE.
LOL, THIS IS SO TRUE.
TRU DAT.
true fax
Omg, totally agreed.
Alex, Brittany and I played with the compressed air…. and sprayed it in black dog’s face. She didn’t like that too much. This video is infinitely funnier than the last podcast… although, a funeral would be infinitely funnier than the last podcast.
thank you
I just really want to thank Dave, Rachael and Kat for getting me through the night, yesterday. I don’t know what I would have done without them.
Dave came over just to make sure I was alright and didn’t do anything stupid, even though I told him not to. And idk, that meant a lot to me, because even though I didn’t talk to him the entire time, and I just laid in my bed and cried, it was nice to have someone care and be there beside me just in case.
Today is going to be a really rough day. In fact, the next few months are going to be really rough months…. but at least some people care, and even though I’m so empty that I only care what one person thinks of me, I still appreciate everything everyone else does for me. I just can’t show it, because I’m so sad and lonely, I don’t even care about myself.
I don’t know how I’m going to get better. I guess I just need to wait this out, and hope that eventually Kayla will stop hating me, and we can be in each other’s lives again. I just need to wait. Waiting has always paid off in the past.
This is probably the worst podcast we’ve ever done. The audio is really out of sync, but whatever. It’s fresh. And it has Alex and Alicia in it. Check it out.
I’ve been missing Kayla so much lately. I have missed her ever since we broke up, but lately things have just gotten worse. I don’t know if it’s because of the holiday season. We actually first started seeing each other around Christmas in 2007. The holidays always had a special place in my heart because of that. But I think it’s just the fact that I haven’t seen her for so long… I haven’t kissed her or held her or even heard her voice in SO long I can’t even function anymore. I’m drained. She is such an important part of me, and I am just so empty without her. Not knowing where she is, or if she is okay, kills me. Every single night I pray for her, and pray for us, and just beg God to make me accomplish whatever I need to make her fall in love with me again.
The other day when I was in Aeropostale, I was thinking of her, and when I went to check out, there was a sticker on the counter that said “Bayla.” That was her AOL screen name and her MySpace name and idk… just something she used for stuff, and it just broke my heart. Then, I was crying on my way to work today because I missed her, and when I walked in, I heard the song “We Belong” by Pat Benetar on the radio. She always played that song for me. That was one of “our songs.” It again broke my heart. It’s almost as if these little things are a sign from God that I shouldn’t give up…. that maybe things aren’t over. But either way, I know it reaffirms the fact that she is the girl I am supposed to love.
It doesn’t matter if she ever takes me back, or ever loves me again. I’ll still be there for her. I will be here just in case she needs me. She is the love of my life, and she is the person I’m supposed to give everything to, and be there for. I feel like that is one of the reasons I am on this earth. God put me in her life for a reason, and he put her in mine for a reason. She is what keeps me alive… she keeps me breathing. Everything I do, I do in hopes that it makes her proud, or that she notices, or it brings me closer to her. I work hard just in case I ever need to support her. I’ve cleaned up my act and gone to rehab so that I could be a better person for her. I’ve fought all of my health problems this past year so that I could be around for her. She motivates me in ways I can’t even explain. If I was a writer, she’d be in the inside cover of everything I wrote. Everything is “for Kayla.” I dedicate everything to her.
I miss her, and I can’t bear the thought of not bringing in 2010 with her. I secretly hope that at 11:59, she appears and tells me she still loves me…. that she always did… and that she ran away because she needed a break or that she was scared. I secretly wish that she still loves me, she just doesn’t know how to say it, or doesn’t know how to come back. And even if I’m incredibly delusional, that tiny little hope in the back of my mind keeps me from just ending everything because without her there is no reason to go on. I want to make her smile again, and make her happy again. I want her to talk my ear off, and give me a kiss on the neck. I want to hold her hand, and walk her to her door. I want to wake up to her phone calls. I want her back. I want to start the next chapter of our relationship. I want to build my life with her.
My resolution for the new year is to get her back, no matter what it takes. No matter how hard it is, I’ll try. She is worth every tear, every sleepless night, every dark thought. Because when she loves me back, when she looks into my eyes, I’m the happiest person in the whole world, and all of the pain and struggle just disappears. If she walked through my door right now, I’d forget everything and start over. I wouldn’t care who’s fault what was, or whether or not I could trust her or rely on her. I would. I’d just jump in head first and give her all of me all over again. It’s worth it. She’s worth it. She’s perfect, and I’ll never give up on her.
Everyone in her life has abandoned her at some point. She can’t count on her family, but she will always be able to count on me. I’ll never go away. I’ll never break. I’ll struggle and fight and cry, but I’ll still be here. She’s worth it, and she deserves that. I met the girl who deserves someone who will never give up on her no matter what she does to me. I am strong enough to deal with the pain, because my love for her is so powerful, it makes me capable of anything.
Kayla, if you read this, please come home. Please come back. I’ll make you smile again, and I’ll make you happy again. I’ll take care of you. I will love you more than anyone else ever could or ever will. I’ll save you, and I’ll protect you. I’ll keep you warm. I will never let you go again. I will love you forever.
this seriously happened to me...
I stopped at the Arab gas station (be more specific, I know) in Sharon after work, and I was standing at the counter waiting to pay. As I slipped my money through the little slot in the bullet-proof glass, a girl walked up to the counter, looked at the jar of individually packaged condoms, said “Damn… those Magnums sold out fast” and then walked out. Seriously.
This is awesome. Really, it is. (notice how I didn’t put punctuation marks in the middle of a sentence….. because that’s retarded).
Thank god no one ever looks at the Shutdown Event Tracker logs on the server except for me. I have really, really inappropriate reasons for shutting down the server sometimes.
About Me
My name is Steven Kudelko. I'm a creative and technology consultant, a writer, an ex-boyfriend, a friend, an aspiring comedian, and a computer geek. Here is where all of those parts of my life mesh together and end up on your computer screen.
