Steven Michael Kudelko

It’s not that I don’t think you’re strong, or independent, or smart.  It’s not that I want to control you, or manipulate you, or baby you.  It’s that I love you more than anything in the world, from the day you turned around from facing the carousel, and your beautiful hair swished in slow-motion, and your eyes met mine.  I can’t help but want to take care of you, hold my hand out so you don’t hit rock bottom, reach my arm out for you to grab on to so I can pick you back up.  I want to be everything that you need, the eternal love you always wanted, the person who never gave up and never stopped believing in you.  I want to be what your heart wants, deep down in the most secret spot that only gets attention when you’re absolutely alone and everything else is quiet.

I want us back.  We were here.  We were so close.  We were meant to be.  Everything can be forgiven with a simple hug, and everything can be forgotten with a kiss on the lips.

Please, someday, say “I love you” again.

A year ago today my sister took a picture of me after I got done eating a Fudgesicle.  She said it was the scariest i ever looked.  I’d have to agree.

(via blackandwtf)

If LC was a boy, this would have been her school picture.

This is my favorite picture of me from when I lived in Williamsport in Fall 2005.

So, since I pulled an all-nighter, I keep fading in and out this morning, especially since I went to the Methadone clinic this morning after not sleeping the night before, and only sleeping for 3 hours the night before that.  Anyway, this is what my assistant Lindsey did while I was sleeping.  She posted it to my personal Twitter account (@smkudelko) for everyone to see.  Thankfully she didn’t post it to the company Twitter account (@teamspearfish) although I probably wouldn’t have cared if she did.  (Actually, she is in the process of posting it to the company Twitter account now.)